All of us in KnoxCAM were very aware of God’s presence at our concert at Northeast Prison in January.  Since that concert, I have been pondering why we were so aware of Him on that occasion while being less aware on some other occasions.  I think He is always present where Christians have gathered and earnestly and humbly desire to worship Him; if we don’t always notice His presence, perhaps it’s because we haven’t intentionally attuned our hearts and spirits to the idea of “expectancy” – of expecting Him to show up and work.

Not expectancy in the sense that I used to say to our daughter when she was in middle school, “I expect you to have your room cleaned up by the time I get back from the grocery store!”  Rather, in the sense my husband and I have now that she is an adult living in another city:  when we know we are going to see her soon, we are full of eager anticipation and expectancy about the sheer joy of being with her again.

Our clarinetist, Hal, shared with one of his friends the many challenges we faced leading up to our Northeast visit and the strong presence of the Holy Spirit we and the men present that evening experienced during our concert there.  His friend said, “It’s because you were desperate.  You knew you had to depend on God.”

Before our concert last weekend at the Bledsoe Prison men’s units, we prayed that God would fill us with the “joyful desperation” of utter dependence on Him to share His message of love and salvation with the prisoners there; and that we would notice how He was working.  We were as excited as children to see what He would do.  He was there, and we knew it because we were focused on Him.  We worked as one, unified throughout the concert by His Spirit.  Those who could see the faces of the men in attendance said they sat in rapt attention, some with tears streaming down their cheeks.  Many stood afterward to rededicate their lives to Christ or to trust Him for the very first time.

A young prisoner said to me after the concert, “You all do more than you know.  You lifted hate from my heart tonight.”  I don’t know his story, probably never will.  I do know that GOD did more than we knew that night, working in the hearts of these men in ways we will learn about with joy when we all reach heaven.  We returned home rejoicing with hearts full of thanksgiving over His working.

As we intentionally cultivate an attitude of joyful expectancy and desperation, we enter a beautiful circle of anticipation, participation, noticing, rejoicing with thanksgiving, returning finally to anticipation of the next time.

It’s easy this time of year, when we are doing the same concert for the sixth or seventh time, in a prison we have visited many times, to be tempted into complacency by the familiarity of it all.  May God forgive us when we give in to such temptation!  Every time is a new opportunity for Him to work in us and through us and in the hearts of the men and women we serve.  May He continually renew our joyful desperation to proclaim Christ as we intentionally wait in eager expectation of what He will do!