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A KnoxCAM Kind of Day…… Northeast Prison in Mountain City…….

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Written by KnoxCAM Choir Member Lee Coffman

“The inmates came out covered in blood, and the guards had blood all over their shirts.” The guard who told us that a fight had broken out after dinner told us “Prison makes me bitter”- So – unit 11 wouldn’t be coming to our KnoxCAM concert. Would anyone get to come? Assessments had to be made. Was it safe to have the concert? 

We’d already been waiting an hour to begin. A 2 1/2 hour trip home was facing us. Would we ever get this concert done?

But Jill got up, rallied us to pray for the prisoners and the guards, and asked that, if it was His plan, we could present His story to the inmates. In a few minutes, a trombone began playing ‘Edelweiss’, the pianist joined him, and Denise and I couldn’t help but start singing, and then the rest of the choir was singing. Another song began, then hymns, with the flutes joining us. I looked around with tears in my eyes – I didn’t know some of the Baptist hymns, so I wasn’t singing ? – and I thought what a glorious evening- my very first jam session, and one with an orchestra, no less!

The concert was on! Time to give out the programs. Over 100 of those signed up came in, smiling, happy to be there, looking for a friendly hand to shake, and ready to hear the story of Lazarus – the story of the ultimate 2nd chance. The actors, the dancers, the orchestra, and the choir ‘left it all on the stage’, as Jill would say. We wanted to share this story with them, and they were anxious to hear it. One man said, “The best thing that happened here last year was your concert. I’ve been waiting all year for you to come back!” 

We’re on our way home. It’s later than expected, but we go home with an amazing example of how God meets you wherever you are, and provides blessings you could never imagine. We’re doing our concert for those not ‘on the inside’ on Sunday, May 5th, at Cedar Springs at 7p.m. Come see the story of the man who had the ultimate 2nd chance – for truly, he is every one of us…..


In Praise of the Laborers

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Recently when my sister visited, we had the opportunity to watch an updated version of one of my favorite movies, Sabrina.  The updated version stars Harrison Ford as Linus Larrabee the workaholic older brother who runs a multi-billion dollar dynasty.  (I promise not give any spoilers here, so it’s safe to read on.)  At one point in the movie Linus is chiding David, the younger brother who is a dilettante:

David Larrabee: You’re talking about my life.
Linus Larrabee: I pay for your life, David. My life makes your life possible.
David Larrabee: I resent that.
Linus Larrabee: So do I.

 Last week, KnoxCAM began our 2013-2014 season.  It was an exciting meeting!  There were new members including a well qualified orchestra director who was coming onboard this year, talk of the purchase of our own keyboard which can be used for travel or sectional rehearsals, and lots of sheet music!  I felt like it was Christmas with this year’s haul of shiny new toys!

As I walked out the door that evening, it suddenly hit me.  I’m like David Larrabee.  For years I’ve been having all the fun, not having to be concerned with where the money came from to sponsor this activity which gives me so much joy.  I know Cedar Springs Presbyterian Church includes KnoxCAM in its missions budget, but I am also aware we have other donors.  To my knowledge, they have all been anonymous donors some even giving things like hiring a bus to drive us to an event!  I honestly cannot tell you how many have given, nor how much they have given.

This part of the ministry has been kept somewhat transparent from those of us who volunteer our talents.  I know how I can donate funds to allow KnoxCAM to continue, but I’ve never been put under pressure to make a monetary donation in addition to the contribution of my time and abilities.  Yes, I’m a bit like David Larrabee; I have sometimes ignored those who “make KnoxCAM possible.”  There is, however, a giant difference between Linus Larrabee and our KnoxCAM donors; Mr. Larabee resented his role as the one whose monetary contribution made his brother’s life possible.  The donors who are part of our KnoxCAM family give out of their love for Jesus and a desire to spread the Gospel.

As I write this, it’s Labor Day 2013 and I want to express my gratitude to all those whose labor has provided the monetary resources which make KnoxCAM a reality.  Without you, KnoxCAM’s reach would be quite limited and our ability to express God’s loving message in such a beautiful way would be severely hindered.

If you have been inspired by the vision of this ministry, but do not have the time, or are not gifted with the artistic talents required to perform with us, please consider becoming a part of the KnoxCAM family by giving a monetary gift.  For information on donations, please see https://knoxcam.org/support/

Water

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I knew I was in trouble the minute he streaked past me and out the door, but I’m fairly certain my terrier remembers it as “THE BEST WALK EVER!”  None of that staying on the paved roads!  This time we would see all the houses from the backyards and even traipse through the woods.  Fearing my terrier would take off at a full run and quickly outpace me, I sped down  the street and raced behind him into our neighbor’s garden, but my little scamp didn’t want to leave his mommy behind.  He would trot ahead, then sit patiently and wait for me to catch up . . . well almost catch up.  The little monster would pause until I lacked but a single pace to reach out and grab him, then he’d resume his merry adventure.

There were many sights to see, a steep hill down to the creek (which thankfully he decided not to navigate), lawn furniture, beach toys, a few individuals who were jogging or working in their yards, and other canines whose owners clearly did not understand the joy of running loose through the neighborhood visiting all the other shut-ins.  I followed along in hope that one of these visits would afford me the opportunity to snag my wayward friend, but even during his investigation of these new acquaintances, he was acutely aware of my proximity.

Half an hour into our journey, our woodland path suddenly dumped us out on the paved road which climbs the dune.  Would we end up at the parking lot full of cars whose owners were playing in the sand on the shores of Lake Michigan, or would we continue on the paved road down the hill and back into the neighborhood?  Neither!  Instead, it was back into the woods and down a steep slope to another backyard.  The hill claimed the last of my energy.  As luck would have it, the nice couple who lived the house at the base of the path, was enjoying brunch on their back porch.  This was my energetic pup’s undoing.  The smell of sausage wafted across the yard.  He trotted up the stairs to see if these kind humans might share some of that delicious meal.  Finally, success!  I stood at the bottom of the stairs whose sides were blocked by the most beautiful solid lattice in the world; well maybe it was just a plain wood lattice, but at that moment it was the finest thing I could have seen.

I captured the rogue and began the five block walk back to our cottage.  I couldn’t wait to get home.  All I could think about was the huge glass of cold water I would drink.  With each block, my desire for that water grew.  The thought of it gave me the needed incentive to carry that twenty pound prize I’d finally captured all the way home.  He needed the rest, too.

I don’t remember a time when I’ve craved water more than I did that day.  It served to remind me of how difficult it would be to be deprived of liquid refreshment for a long period of time.

When KnoxCAM goes into the prisons, one of our logistical challenges is making sure our members have access to water.  Our visits take several hours due to the time it takes to enter the prison, set up our equipment, and give our concert.  Dancers who expend a great deal of energy during the performance need refreshment; singers use the precious fluid to keep their throats lubricated.  I am certain that if I did not have access to water during our visits, I would begin to focus on its absence as I did the day my dog escaped.  So one of our planners is faithful to make sure this need is met.  Some of the prisons allow us to enter with an unopened bottle of water.  Other prisons provide us with cups and access to water.

During one particular visit, I noticed some of the prisoners carrying a large, heavy cooler of water to a table.  As usual, they brought out plastic cups.  I was busy making sure we had people prepared to hand out programs, but knew I would head over at the first opportunity to fill a cup with the precious liquid which I would keep by my chair throughout the afternoon.  I was surprised when a voice said, “Ma’am would you like this?”  I turned to see one of the prisoners holding out a full cup to me.  I took the generous offering and thanked the man.  He beamed and said, “We really appreciate you coming here.”  I watched the men for a few minutes.  They filled the cups and offered one to each of the members of our group.

What struck me was the joy with which they performed this service.  There was little these men could do for us in the way of hospitality, but the humbleness with which they performed this simple task made me feel like an honored guest.  I often recall that day when I am in a position to serve another person.  Am I showing an attitude of servanthood which will make others feel like honored guests?

With KnoxCAM, I am privileged to carry water to others.  It is not like the water in the cup, but like the living water Jesus offered to the Samarian woman (John 4:7-43).  Most Jews treated the Samaritans with disdain; they were enemies, a people unworthy of salvation.  A Jew would never ask for a kindness from a Samaritan, nor show any, yet here Jesus is asking the woman for a cup of water from the well.  He had been traveling all day and was in great need of the refreshing water.  Jesus took the opportunity to speak to the woman of the great spiritual need which she had.  He presented to her the idea that she needed the living water which would quench the real thirst she had in her life.  He offered her salvation.

Much like the Samaritan woman, the people to whom KnoxCAM ministers are sometimes seen by others as “undesirables.”  Our hope is to present them with living water, to help them realize their need just as Jesus helped the Samaritan woman at the well.  On Saturday, a small group of us will go to a homeless shelter and a jail.  We will take with us the living water which Jesus offered.  I hope to offer it with the humility and joy shown by our Christian brother who offered me a simple cup of water.  I pray it will quench the thirst of one who has traveled a long road and is in desperate need of refreshment.

John 4:14  but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”

? Are You Up To The Challenge ?

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1 John 3:17-18: “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words and tongue but with actions and in truth.”
Every person is special, every person deserves to be loved. If I take this biblical directive to heart, then I was not spending enough time investing in others. I was not being the love to the unloved.
Since this is important to my God and my Savior, it should be important to me. And that made me uncomfortable, because I was often way too busy with my day and my life, to be used in these ways.
Well, the cool sweet breath of life from Jesus blows in when you least expect it!
Four years ago, the Lord opened the door through KnoxCAM for me to return to a former love – handbells, while providing an offering of sweet incense to our Lord. I am reassured that while this path is not always convenient and easy, His satisfied presence resides within every performance at the prisons and homeless shelters.
Hebrews 13:16 directs us: “And do not neglect doing good and sharing; for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”
If this directive resonates within your heart, I encourage you to simply ask, “What do they need,” and “How can I help?”
The answer may take you out of your comfort zone. The answer may take you to homeless shelters and prison gyms with little creature comforts, where the unloved are residing.
Are you up to the challenge?

What is success?

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I’m an engineer by trade, which means that my life consists of a constant barrage of questions that normal people consider to be neurotic. “What’s wrong with this? When can you have it fixed? Why can’t you have it fixed sooner? Why did this go wrong? What should you have done to prevent it from going wrong? Why didn’t you pay attention to see that it could go wrong and do something about it before this happened?” The underlying assumption behind all the questions is the same: the outcome isn’t what it should have been; it’s all your fault, and you can do better.

Here’s my dilemma. KnoxCAM comes into facilities once a year, we do our little dance, sing our little songs, pack our things, and then leave. I don’t know how many inmates (if any) come to Christ, but if even one doesn’t, the questions start, as well as the assumptions that go along with it. We (I) weren’t outgoing enough. We (I) didn’t smile or have the proper demeanor. The material was shoddily done, etc.

What’s even worse is the knowledge that, no matter how hard I try, there are some factors that I have absolutely no control over. Some men are there just to see the goofy people who’ve come to play the great white hope, and they want some amusement at our expense. Some can’t think of anything better to do, so they come to get out of their cells for a little while. The infernal ballasts in the gyms hum so badly that everyone has trouble hearing what’s going on, and the sound tech pulls out what’s left of his hair. Some facilities won’t even let us speak with any inmates after we finish for security reasons. No matter which one happens, and it’s usually more than one, the voices start. “You incompetent dolt, they’re going to hell, and it’s your fault…”

At times like these, I have to re-adjust my definition of success. The world defines success as “getting things done”. (Seriously, that’s one of the “core values” at my job.) We want numbers. Make that widget work, crank out that product, “grab that cash with both hands and make a stash” (Roger Waters). That’s not God’s definition of success. God calls people successes that the world regards as absolute failures, and vice versa. Moses spent forty years in self-imposed exile, having thrown away all the prestige and power of Egypt to herd sheep in the middle of nowhere. Jeremiah is the Bible’s version of the Greek legend of Cassandra, always prophesying truth, but never believed. Most of the apostles died horribly painful deaths at the hands of the most powerful empire the world had ever seen up to that point, which couldn’t care less about some hick rabbi from the middle of nowhere, as long as you affirmed that Caesar was a god.

Mother Theresa summed it up by noting that God calls us to be faithful, not successful. The Old Testament saints all died looking forward to the promises of God, but having little clue how they would be fulfilled. Time and time again, God calls his people to do things that the world regards as silly for people the world regards as worthless. Who knows how it will turn out? I don’t, and I don’t have to. I just have to be faithful. I worry about results too much. That’s the business of the Holy Spirit. The Bible is chock full of incompetent dolts whom God uses to do amazing things.

You could say that prison ministry is an insult to my world-reinforced arrogance. I suppose that it is, but I prefer to think of it as a much-needed dose of sanity. Pretending to be omnipotent is exhausting.

Tell Me a Story

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“Read me a story, Grandma!”  That has been one of my favorite parts of visiting with my grandchildren these last few weeks.  Whether we’re sprawled out on the bed at night or they’re snuggled beside me on the couch, reading provides an opportunity to share ideas with one another: to talk about life and how the characters in the books choose great ways, poor ways, or downright silly ways to handle the problems they encounter.

Stories are powerful.  They can entertain, enrage, or educate us.  Some tales are so widely-known, they become part of our culture.  Their mere mention evokes the ideas they express: Romeo and Juliet, Lord of the Rings, Noah and the Ark.  A good story invites the audience to identify with its characters.  Were you the little engine that could?  Perhaps you were the Dr. Seuss character who did/did not like green eggs and ham.  As you grew older you may have been Susan, Peter, Edmund, or Lucy from The Chronicles of Narnia.  Have you at some time imagined yourself in the place of David, the “man after God’s own heart” maybe finding the perfect stone for your sling before slaying Goliath or a lion that was attacking your sheep; or Moses who wouldn’t believe that God wanted to use HIM to lead the Israelites into the wilderness or cracking a boulder with your staff, or Jonah who tried to run away when God told him to warn the Ninevites to repent!  Maybe you’ve been the woman at the well, in need of the forgiveness only Christ could offer.

Stories provide a way to connect to other people.  Do you remember the story Nathan told David about the shepherd whose only lamb was stolen in order to show him the sin in his life?  The Bible is full of places where God uses stories to talk to us.  Jesus frequently spoke in parables to demonstrate the point he wanted to make.  These stories often help us understand so much more than if we are given “just the facts, ma’am.”

Over the years I’ve learned that God has given each of us a story to share.  Yours may be the story of redemption at an early age and living most of your life as a Christian.  Maybe you didn’t recognize your need for God until much later and have a testimony which, like Paul, involves downright hostility toward God and His plan until you SAW him in Truth and Light.  No matter what your tale involves, it can be a powerful witness to others.

As members of KnoxCAM, each year we get to tell a new story.  Our actors portray characters who are based on the struggles of real people.  We’ve told the story of a father gone astray who finds himself in need of the forgiveness of his family and employer; a woman who lived hard, found Jesus, and spent her life humbly showing others His love; a young man who, upon being released from prison, finds himself in need of people who will help him live out his new found faith.  These stories provide a powerful way to connect people to God’s message for them, a message of love, forgiveness, and commitment.  The stories are conveyed in a powerful way by the actors, dancers, and musicians of KnoxCAM.

I can hardly wait to see what new story KnoxCAM will unveil this fall.  If it is like our past stories, it will be a tale with the power to touch hearts and open them up to the presence of The Holy Spirit and His desire to connect with each one of us.  I’m excited to see what message He has for me in this new play, and to take that story out into our community to share with others.

I invite you to become a storyteller too!  Be ready if you wish to share your story when God provides the opportunity, and come join to us as we spread the message of God’s love to people outside the walls of our churches.  Use the power of your story to create a connection with someone.  Then tell them the greatest story of all, the story of God’s love, to help them develop a relationship with their Heavenly Father.

An Inconvienent Reminder

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It was dark and cold when we left the prison that night. As always, several of the inmates helped us with our gear. We came to a gate, and one of them said, “I can’t go beyond that line. You’ll have to take it from there.” We thanked him for his assistance, loaded the bus and went home.

The reason I remember that incident is that his picture appeared in the Knoxville News Sentinel about two weeks later. According to the article, he was serving a minimum of twenty-five years for murder. I remember feeling unnerved.

As I’ve thought about that incident, I’ve wondered why I was unnerved. Was I merely being a prig, smug in my own moral superiority? Was I irrationally afraid that he would do something to me? Perhaps, but I suspect that it was something deeper.

Inmates have one big advantage over me. I get to hide my wretchedness  – to an extent. I’m a father and husband, I have a respectable job, and from external appearances, I’m living the American dream. House, two cars, bank account, etc. I’ve only had one traffic ticket in my life.

Contrast that with an inmate. His entire existence screams at him that he’s done something that merits punishments measured in years. The bed he sleeps in, the food he eats, the place he lives, even down to the TDOC (Tennessee Department Of Corrections) written all over his clothing broadcast his state to the whole world. His advantage? He has a much harder time denying that he desperately needs someone to remake him from the inside out.

Don’t we counter with, “Surely I’m not that bad”? The problem is that, Jesus would disagree. Ever look at a Playboy? According to Jesus, you’re an adulterer. Ever loaf on the job? You’re a thief. Ever mutter “God!” when you hit yourself with a hammer? You’re a blasphemer. Work too much, eat too much, love the world too much? You’re an idolater. The list goes on.

With respect to the inmate above, ever gossiped or slandered someone? You guessed it – you’re a murderer. That also means that I am all of those things I listed and worse. I only covered half of the Ten Commandments.

The inmate, by his very existence, reminded me that, perhaps, we’re more alike than I dare to admit.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that the gospel cries out that no man is beyond the reach of God’s grace. The temptation exists for us to believe that we have sinned too many times or too heinously. Jesus tells us that we’ve broken all the commandments many times in many heinous ways, and yet can still be adopted as God’s sons.

It’s a message not only for anyone who’s killed a man, it’s for all of us who’ve wanted to.

I Know I’ve Been Changed

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She began the solo deep in her range.  Closing my eyes in anticipation of the beautiful interplay between the men’s ensemble and this talented vocalist, I sat listening to the sweet strains of I Know I’ve Been Changed.  This is my favorite song of this year’s program; I know each entrance, each crescendo, as the spiritual swells to its celebration of a life changed.  But today there’s something new!

My ears strain to pick it up, but it’s there; the rich bass sound accompanying our female soloist.  It’s almost imperceptible, but it’s there joining in worship with her soulful offering.  The voices are not coming from our men.  I open my eyes and directly across from me a small group of the men with whom we’ve come to share, are softly singing along.  They sing every word of the song of praise for a life transformed.

This traditional spiritual which, on its own, inspires thankful, loving worship, is elevated to new heights by the addition of those who know they have much for which to be thankful.  Performers and audience members come together in praise of a loving God, a God who reaches into broken lives and transforms them for His glory.  The simple act of these men joining in on this day unites us all as a body of believers.

As the song crescendos to its powerful climax with men and soloist proclaiming the joyous news that “My Jesus in Heaven done changed my name!” hearts soar.  The gospel song winds down in dramatic fashion with the ensemble singing a dominant seventh followed by a diminished chord, to end on a simple minor chord.  The soloist’s authoritative voice stands out against this complex backdrop as if to emphasize the significance of each life redeemed.

The piece, just a few minutes in length, has set a tone for the rest of the afternoon.  We continue our worship united by THE JOY OF THOSE WHO KNOW THEY’VE BEEN CHANGED.

Written based on our visit to Knox County Jail 5/4/2013.

 

Blessings Return Tenfold

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“Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

I’ve often heard that when volunteering to help others, the blessings return tenfold to the giver. That is what happens with each and every KnoxCAM performance. The profound spiritual lesson that I learn from inmates and down-on-their-luck citizens reminds me that God lives with us in the moment, wherever that may be.
We can’t expect that things will always turn out how we desire; the stories of the men and women for whom KnoxCAM performs are a testament to that truth. Yet, I am always amazed at their sense of contentment for where they are in life. When I look out upon the audience, I am humbled by the serenity in the faces of the prisoners and homeless. With their eyes closed and perhaps swaying to a song, their countenances reflect God’s spirit of true freedom in their lives.
These prisoners we visit have learned how to trust God in the smallest moments. They seem to see more clearly, that God is still present and working through them even as their basic freedoms have been taken away.
I find myself quite lacking when it comes to being brave and having courage. I am thankful that as a member of KnoxCAM, I can learn from the men and women who view our performances, to trust Jesus and hope in Him in new ways.
A friend who died of cancer used to say, “I hope you can get what I’ve got, without getting what I’ve got.” A stark reminder that, even in the face of certain death, there is the certainty of eternal life as a believer in Jesus.
As I watch the grateful and contented faces of Christ’s followers in the audience at each KnoxCAM performance, I imagine they would say,
“I hope you can be where I am, without being where I am!”

Beauty and the Gospel

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Knoxville has an unfortunate moniker as a “scruffy little city”. In short, we’re ugly. For Pete’s sake, we were spoofed in a “Simpsons” episode.

As if that wasn’t enough, we in KnoxCAM go into some ugly places. Prisons are designed for utility, not aesthetics. The overriding goal is to keep the inmates in. Homeless shelters, even if they start out beautiful, often end up scruffy and run down. The same goes for nursing homes. The smell can sometimes be overpowering. All of the residents in all three places would rather be somewhere else.

From a certain perspective, the modern world would say, “What’s the problem? They have three square meals a day, clothing and shelter.” The problem is that man, in addition to needing his physical needs met, also has spiritual needs. Too many Christians interpret this as just a simple offer of a truncated gospel, the gospel of being saved. Granted, the New Testament tells us that we need to be saved from our sins, but that’s only part of the story.

Russian novelist Fyodor Doetyevski once wrote that, “God will save the world through beauty.”  Would we describe it that way, or do we get so caught up in the legal aspect of salvation that we forget to focus appropriately on beauty?

This isn’t a call to be art snobs. Beauty can be simple. Man needs beauty, and beauty is a reflection of God. The supreme beauty is in the finished work of Christ, but he leaves hints throughout his world, especially this time of year, when our region explodes in color. He leaves hints in fine music or in works of the great masters.

Our culture has its own notions of beauty – take a look at our magazines. Some deny that it even exists altogether, that all that’s left is art – if it can be called such. Much of “modern art” confuses or revolts us, and with good reason. It’s no accident that communist buildings were drab and ugly, all painted in the same shade of gray. They flowed from the same source – an asthetic that denied that there was anything or anyone beyond us.

People in prisons, homeless shelters, and nursing homes know better instinctively. Perhaps we can’t offer the gospel explicitly, but we can meet their need for beauty. It’s just as real – and in these “beauty deserts” – perhaps more pressing than a cup of cold water.